Tramp

When I was married, I had a little Yorkshire Terrier named Honey. One day a stray dog showed up in our yard and he looked hungry, so I fed him. By the time my husband noticed him hanging around and said not to feed that dog, well, I’d already been feeding him for over two weeks. I couldn’t stop now.

So the dog continued to hang around, but everytime I tried to bring him in the house, my husband fussed so much that I just let him stay in the front yard. I did try putting him in the backyard, but found out that he could climb the fence and would climb the fence if confined . . .

One winter night I opened the front door to see how much it had snowed, and there curled up on my doormat was the stray dog . . . I called my husband to come look . . . and he said to put him in the basement . . . so Tramp got to walk through the house that night and slept in our warm basement.

Fast forward a few months and the stray dog had been named Tramp, since he looked so much like the dog in “Lady and the Tramp” by Disney . . . the movie dog . . .But a few months after that snowy night, my Yorkie went into heat. Someone forgot and left a door open and Tramp got to Honey, and I was devastated. So I called the vet.

The vet said with Tramp’s testicles never descending like they should have, he expected that Tramp was sterile. Make an appointment and bring him in and he’d get a sample and check it for sperm.

So the next morning at breakfast, I told my husband that Tramp had a vet appointment and I needed him to take Tramp in. He looked confused and asked “why?” Why did he have to take Tramp in and not me?

So I explained that the vet would be trying to get a sperm sample and I was too embarrassed to be there.

My husband fussed and he complained, but he called into work and said he’d be a little late . . .

Off they went!

A couple hours later my husband stormed into the house and threw Tramp’s leash on the floor and said Tramp would not cooperate and the vet said to bring him back at 2:00 so he could try again. Tramp was tired of being manipulated.

So I said I guess he’d miss a whole day of work, and he said, “Hell no!” and stormed out the door muttering about not staying home all day jerking the dog off.

I called the vet and asked if I could bring Tramp in? He said sure, and bring Honey . . . it might help.

We found out that Tramp was indeed sterile, which came in handy when Tramp climbed over my neighbor’s fence to get to her dog who was out in her backyard and in heat. When my neighbor called me and finally quit calling my dog names and yelling, I assured her that her dog was not pregnant. Tramp was sterile. She asked how I knew that and didn’t seem to believe me. She insisted on getting the name and number of my vet. He assured her that Tramp was sterile and yes, he was sure.

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About msplayful

I am someone who finds life humorous and often share my views with friends and co-workers. Since I've been told I should be a stand-up comedian, I thought I'd see how well I could do at writing funny things that happen, or that happen in my head.
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