The Dog Knows Best

My neighbors must think I am the most nosy person around.  I often venture out of my house and stand in the yard gazing in one direction and then another. Sometimes I take my old dog, Blackie, with me. We go out because the young dog, Joy, has spoken.

When Joy speaks, she sounds as if the house is on fire and she’s trying to tell me. No matter how much I try to ignore her hysterical outbursts (barks), she will continue until I get up and go out and investigate. If Blackie is at my heels, I’ll hook her up and say loudly, “COME ON, I’LL TAKE YOU OUT”. I don’t know if pretending to take the old dog out fools the neighbors into not realizing I am spying on them and the street out front. All I know is I prefer the semblance of a reason to be out front gazing in all directions as I take in the danger the younger dog is warning about – where is it? Usually it is no where.

But when the young dog barks, what I hear is “I’m telling you, something that doesn’t belong out there is close to the house. Go check! For God’s Sake, CHECK!” The neighbors and my son hear a dog who is barking. I wish the barking dog translator didn’t live in my head, but it does. I MUST go see what she’s barking about.

Usually it is nothing. Today it was my new neighbor returning home from wherever he’d been. I stood there watching him go up his steps and into his house. Other times it has been the neighbor’s cat, various dogs. It can be the UPS man, the mailman, Fed Ex, someone trying to sell something in the neighborhood . . .  It varies. The dog’s reaction does not.

So I stop what I’m doing, get up and go out. I must do this 8 to 10 times a day. I am not nosy. I am trying to get the dog to stop barking. When I tell her everything is fine, be quiet, she replies with, “How do you know? You haven’t looked.” I pull back the curtain to look and sometimes that calms her when I say I see nothing, but that also adds to my reputation for being nosy. It’s not me. It’s the dog.


About msplayful

I am someone who finds life humorous and often share my views with friends and co-workers. Since I've been told I should be a stand-up comedian, I thought I'd see how well I could do at writing funny things that happen, or that happen in my head.
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