Tramp

Tramp was a stray dog who showed up on my doorstep one evening. He looked like the dog, Tramp, in the movie “Lady and the Tramp”, so we called him that. I put a leash on him and walked him around the neighborhood. Everyone said they were glad to see that dog belonged to someone because he’d been hanging around for several weeks. I explained that he wasn’t mine, but I was trying to find his owner.

I already had two dogs and did not need another one, but ended up keeping him. When my girl dog went into heat, he managed to get to her, and I was frantic with worry. She was a small Yorkshire Terrier and he was a lot bigger than she was. I called the vet to see what options I had.

By that time, the vet had seen Tramp and given him his shots, and he said because Tramp’s testicles had never descended, he doubted there would be a pregnancy. But he had me bring Tramp in twice that day to try to get a sample to test it for sperm.

It turned out that Tramp was indeed sterile.

Tramp also could climb in and out of the fence when he wanted to. He was out strolling the neighborhood one day when he noticed my neighbor’s dog outside in her backyard. I was unaware of what was going on until I got a phone call from my neighbor. She was practically screaming at me about my dog climbing the fence and getting to her dog when she’d been so careful to keep her dog, who was in heat, confined. She was going to sue me! She was so angry. When she finally took a breath, I said, “Tramp’s sterile. If she’s pregnant, they’re not his.”

She did not believe me. She fussed and fussed some more. When she took another breath, I gave her my vet’s name and phone number and told her to call and he would verify it.

Then I hung up. All this time I thought the most mischievous thing Tramp did was steal a piece of chicken off someone’s grill. Guess he got around in more ways than one.

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About msplayful

I am someone who finds life humorous and often share my views with friends and co-workers. Since I've been told I should be a stand-up comedian, I thought I'd see how well I could do at writing funny things that happen, or that happen in my head.
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