Almost Haiku

Day Two of my new writing career. I thought I’d write a poem, but I haven’t. Instead I’ve mostly lain in bed hoping to feel better because I have been sick and under a doctor’s care for a couple days. Yesterday when I moved all the way from my bed to the computer in my bedroom to check my email, I noticed the skype icon jumping up and down. I had a message from my son in China. His belt has broken, is breaking . . . there is some kind of catastrophe, and he cannot find a belt in China to fit him. Can I get one and mail it to him? Sure, why not. Let me do that tomorrow morning. So tomorrow morning became today and I found myself wandering into Walmart to find a cheap belt to mail to China. Except for exhausting me, that part of the day went well. I even remembered to buy a  padded envelope to mail it in. I got a couple pairs of socks to pad the belt with and went home to address and seal the envelope. Have you ever noticed how exhausting it is to print out addresses and find tape and put it all together on an envelope?  Got it done and laid on the bed to wait for the post office to open. I have never had a problem mailing a package to China until this morning. The postman said it was $75 to mail it express and have a 3 to 5 days guarantee. I said what’s less than that, but still fast? 6 to 10 days priority mail was $34, but without any guarantee. Wait! he said . . . International Express is 3 to 5 days and it’s $39. (Does he know what he’s doing? I was wondering by this time.) So I said I’d take 3 to 5 days for $39 and felt like I was talking to Alex Trebeck on Jeopardy. So he keyed it in and then said, Wait . . . now it says it will take 6 to 10 days . . . it will get there by May 2. I said give me the package back and I’ll get the lady beside you to help me . . . so he said that was fine with him, and I got in her line. No pain meds had I had for 14 hours, and I was not feeling well, and they started playing “Who knows where China is?” It took her twice as long to tell me what she found out. He had to go over to help her and from how they acted, I think he was her boss. She said she could get it there by May 5 for $39. I asked him if he still had it up on HIS screen since he had said he could get it there by May 2. (meanwhile people were coming in and out and he was pausing to help others). So he showed her she had the province wrong (and I’m thinking they can get it to the wrong place by May 5 for $39 .. . ) So then she could get it to Anthony by May 2 for $39. He said priority mail, which is 6 to 10 days was $5 cheaper and that’s what he’d do. I told him this was my SON and he needed this belt. And she was nodding her head and I told her SHE understood, she had children. Yes, she has children and knows how I feel. So it’s gone and she did find out that the reason it switched from 3 to 5 days to 6 to 10 days, with a guarantee by May 2, is that there is some kind of holiday over there from April 29 to May 1. I wore myself out. I am not as well as I thought I was when I planned the excursion. But the belt is on the way, and I’m back at home to stay. Hey, that’s a couplet. Here is a haiku:

The Post Office Made

Me Pull Out All Of My Hair

But You Got Your Belt.

Love, Mom



About msplayful

I am someone who finds life humorous and often share my views with friends and co-workers. Since I've been told I should be a stand-up comedian, I thought I'd see how well I could do at writing funny things that happen, or that happen in my head.
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