Happy New Year! 2012. Who knew I’d live this long?
I have a baby boy who is in China. His name is Anthony. He is 23. I start “drawing” social security this month – January. He mentioned that he wants to have his children when he is in his twenties. He doesn’t want to be an old parent like I have been to him. I was 3 weeks away from being 39 when he was born. While I take that as a compliment and feel I was a “hot” mama, he has always viewed me as old.
When he came home from kindergarten one of his first days at school, he asked me if I was his grandmother? What?? I was shocked. Why would he ask me such a question, I inquired. His simple, childlike answer has never been forgotten – “becauf de ofer kidz say you wook like my granmotfer”(“because the other kids say you look like my grandmother”). Ok. Well, maybe I’m not as “hot” looking as I thought?
And even now he bemoans the fact that his mother is so old.
I have a totally different relationship with him than I do with his brothers. He has one who is 7 years older and one who is 4 years older. However, Anthony has always been and will always be my baby. No, I couldn’t catch him when he’d run from me at age 2, but that just strengthened the bond between him and his brothers as they “caught him!” when I’d yell for them to catch him as he began to run.
Who, but my baby boy, who spent New Year’s Eve in China and celebrated it 13 hours ago, would think of his old mama who was sitting at home with a small glass of champagne and a bowl of black eyed peas, trying to get the live streaming from Times Square to work so she could watch the ball drop? He popped up on Skype just as I was trying to make the computer work and together we got it working so I could watch the ball drop signifying the new year’s beginning while he watched it with me on his computer.
Maybe he wants a younger mother. Maybe he felt cheated by not knowing me in my youth? But he has a stable mother, who is not going anywhere until the good Lord calls her home and who dotes on this fascinating baby boy that she was blessed with 23 years ago. His view of me differs from his brother’s view of me. Anthony is thoughtful and sensitive. Perhaps I didn’t come into his life at what he thinks would be an optimal time, but he certainly appeared in mine then.