It’s not FAIR!

Everyone on my team at work is going to a workshop tomorrow, except me. It’s not fair! I went last year and except for interrupting the presenter while she was presenting, I didn’t really do anything all that wrong.

The workshop was on ecosystems and how parts of systems depend upon each other. We were going to set up an ecosystem where everything could co-exist with just the things we put in the soda bottle. Ok. I was excited.

Until they mentioned the crickets. I have a cricket phobia. No one told me we were messing with crickets. I tried to tell my table mates and they shushed me because the presenter was talking about how we would get the crickets out of their containers and put them in the soda bottle. HOW MANY CRICKETS??? WHERE WERE THEY?  No one knew, or they wouldn’t tell me, and finally I just got up out of my seat and went up to the presenter and told her, “Excuse me, but I need to know where these crickets are. I have a cricket phobia and I NEED to know where they ARE! When will the crickets be coming into this room?”

She said they were already in the room and I said perhaps I needed to leave the workshop right that minute. She said it would be fine. They could not get out of their containers. In fact, they were frozen, and we were waiting for them to thaw out. THAW OUT???? Who the heck froze crickets??? I told her to tell me where the freezer was and I’d get someone to put them back in there. She told me to go sit down. So I went to the bathroom and stayed.

When I came back, she had quit talking about the crickets. Everything went well and I put dirt in my bottle and worked on making a small aquarium to put fish in that were going to cooperate with the CRICKETS somehow and everything depended on another and this was a good thing . . . so she said.

It was during lunch, which we ate in the room, when I heard the crickets begin chriping. “Oh, good,” the instructor said. “They are thawed out now. We can work with them.”

As we cleaned up from lunch, I decided I needed to go to the bathroom again. I stayed and stayed, hoping the crickets would all go somewhere else. When I got back to the room, everyone had gotten a cricket and put it in a clear, plastic container with a piece of cardboard over the top and they were looking at the crickets with a magnifying glass. They told me to get a cricket and sit down and look at it. I told them I could see the things from where I was standing in the doorway.

I didn’t get my ecosystem made, and I was a basketcase last spring when the “kit” containing the crickets arrived so the science teacher could help the students make the soda bottle ecosystems. They tried to get me to help, but there was no way I could participate in that. The principal called me hysterical, but I think he was exaggerating.

Anyway, when I was complaining today about being left behind with a bunch of substitutes while everyone else gets to go have fun at the workshop, someone finally said, “There’s going to be CRICKETS there, and they say YOU CAN’T GO!!!”

That’s not fair.

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About msplayful

I am someone who finds life humorous and often share my views with friends and co-workers. Since I've been told I should be a stand-up comedian, I thought I'd see how well I could do at writing funny things that happen, or that happen in my head.
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